OK, time to call bullshit on the “men are hornier than women” conversation. In my informal field studies I have come to find out that amongst my monogamous hetero couple friends, women tend to either a) want to have sex more often than their partners or b) are interested in better quality sex (usually that means more presence, slow and sensual sex – and other times super hard core/kinky or whatever too of course.)
The confusion
That’s not the mainstream view of this topic as far as I can tell!? It’s also appears to be more common for women to take the lead when it comes to evolving the couple’s sex life. I find this super fascinating…
I don’t think women are less sexual than men. I think in this culture sex has, from a historical perspective, been acted out to satisfy the male sexuality, i.e. “roll over woman and do your wifely duty.” The male, being less apt to enjoy multiple orgasms and who do not typically need 40 minutes to reach optimal state of arousal, might be fooled into thinking that this is satisfying form of sexual expression. Whereas I know that hot quickies are definitely part of a fun and enjoyable sex life, by no means are they enough to satisfy the voracious female sexual appetite. However, since many women (especially under 30) have NO CLUE of how to treat the purring tiger between her thighs, or how to find the courage or even wherewithal to express her needs to a partner, we find ourselves in a pickle…
Let’s take the journey together to full sexual empowerment
Am I trying to minimize men, no. I am trying to bring light to a super sensitive and often traumatized area of all of our lives, yes! If you were in possession of straight up Ecstasy, would you be satisfied with a cup of coffee every now and again? And that doesn’t mean that you don’t love some coffee once in a while, right?
If we work together here, we can all take pleasure in the magnificent union of the masculine and the feminine! But let’s start by calling the bluff, eh? We are ALL sexual beings and this area needs an incredible amount of healing. I am putting out a call to all my female friends out there to start taking ownership of her body and sexuality and let’s bring the men with us on this extraordinary journey to discover our creative power.
Because sexuality is not just about sex; it’s about something far deeper and more satisfying… And at the ripe young age of 31, I’m just scratching the surface of this juicy topic. Reports on your experience are very welcome, either here or in my inbox.
Love from my sexy self to yours,
