How to relinquish control and ease into trust (and gain energy and peace in the process) | Part 1

I know intimately how effing exhausting it can be to be simply exist as a woman today.

There’s a seemingly never ending flow of needs to cater to, things to accomplish, likes to get, hours to try to sleep properly, president’s tweets to get infuriated by, numbers to conquer, and emails to answer… 

I can feel you nodding your head right now, because this stuff just IS (until we opt out of the whole dysfunctional system and create our own Queendoms, but more about that in future emails.)

In this 3-part email series we will be exploring how we try to use our own energy and efforts to feel safe and like we belong in the world and

how to shift into trust and true peace instead.

If you know me you know that I have A LOT of energy.

This has been a blessing and a curse in my life because while I could accomplish a lot,

I was also able to deceive myself that I could build my dream life on my own energy and strength alone. 

Facing this lie, of using my energy to manipulate my way through life, has been one of the biggest challenge I’ve had  to overcome.

After crashing and burning over and over again, I now finally know:

I am not in control here. I cannot fight life with my own energy and willpower to get to a place of freedom.

What happened is: by NOT TRUSTING in the Divine (God, Love, The Universe, Allah) I was running schemes of manipulation in order to get my perceived needs met.

Here’s what that looked like:

  • I didn’t know that when I surrender to Love, take care of myself and use that love to care for others everything I need is provided to me by Divine law, so I keep overworking and under earning to prove my worth.
  • I didn’t know that I am beautiful so I kept tabs on an ex-boyfriend that gave me compliments.
  • I didn’t know that I am safe in Love so I created friendships where I had to show up a certain way to keep feeling like I belong here.
  • I didn’t know I can have what I want from my partner by valuing my own needs and communicating them, so I tried to manipulate my partner into giving me what I think I lack. (Still working on this one…)

Can you relate?

Thankfully, my life has provided me with a way to shift into another way of being where I don’t have to work so damn hard all the time and simply relax into being.

Now, I want to share what I have learned with you so you too can liberate yourself more fully and heal the ways this dynamic has shown up in your life. You with me?

Step Numero Uno – Identify Where You Are Leaking Energy:

  1. Take a moment to reflect at how FAR you have come from who you were ten years ago, even ONE year ago (since we’re in a cycle of such extreme growth right now.)
  2. Take a deep breath into your full being and feel how much you can trust in your own process and life. (If you don’t feel this way yet, I understand – sometimes life can be excruciatingly brutal, and if you’re in that place I am truly sorry. If this is you, can you be willing to open up to the possibility that life has your back? Even willingness to be willing can be the crack Love needs to come in and work her miracle in you. Big squeeze, sister.)
  3. Now, set the intention to START noticing when you are doing any of the following:
    • Obsessing over a specific situation.
    • Trying to make someone else do something.
    • Over-analyzing and trying to think your way to the perfect answer.
    • Getting angry at what is happening, arguing with the moment you’re in. (Holla Byron Katie.)
    • Trying to spend energy in a way to get you to a certain place: “When I get all these things done I will relax… ” or “When I lose this many pounds I will feel free to love myself.”
    • Needing a specific outcome to feel trusting of your life and process. “I need this client to sign with me and I will do x, y and z to make that so.”
    • Trying to FIX others or make them change.

Or best of all, set aside ten minutes to get quiet and calm and ask your mind to show you the places where you are leaking energy. (In any of the ways described above OR unique to you.)

I can guarantee you that what you find might be surprising and very helpful to your personal (r)evolution this year!

In the next few emails I will be sharing what to shift once you identify these leaks, but in the meantime know this truth:

Awareness heals. 

So even if all you did was acknowledge your energy manipulation or leaks, your life will find a way to heal you – if you pay attention and are willing to face the hard places with love.

Speaking of love, I got lots of it for YOU!

Thank you for spending your precious time and energy with me today. If you have a question about this process, feel free to contact me. I am here for you.

Karna Smiling White

All my Love,